Ah what can I say? it was the time I met Frankie Teardrop Dead in the flesh. I got a taxi from my gf at the time's house (where I was living at the time) after taking part of a capsule of "digital psilocybin" that my dealer assured was the proper thing until I found out later that it was not the real deal at all. A train to st pancras station and then the underground to holloway road. I travelled alone to the gig with nothing but my guitar in my bag and a few pedals in a rucksack (probably) and tired down the long street I looked for the venue that we were going to be playing that night. Turn off after turn off I realised that the club was much further than anticipated and so I kept going until finally I saw the outline of someone that I had seen on a live session on youtube and on facebook, Carling Vail (percussion, synth, vocals) of Frankie Teardrop Dead doing something, maybe on her phone, she turned around and greeted me with a Keith Richards like wobble and a raspy weed infused vocal delivery...hey! I'm Carling, how are you? good to meet you, I'll take you to the rest of the band (or something). We walked around the corner and up to a long early 2000's volvo (I think) and Ben Jim, the main songwriter and singer was inside at the drivers wheel rolling a long joint, he greeted me with a cheeky smile as if to say oh you're here, I know who you are, be one minute. Fast forward a few hours and Tom Morrow, my beloved friend and drummer and the mysterious and equally elusive Christina and my good old friend Shaney B of percussion fame were now in the building and we were ready to go on after only one solitary practice session that might I say, didn't go too well for reasons here unspecified. Christina was meant to play the keyboard, she brought her own but bless her heart, it was a midi keyboard..so it created a bit of a problem. I wondered if she could use Carling's roland synth as that would certainly work and Christina only had to play a minimum of one note. Me being a bit too afraid to ask Carling herself in fear of rejection I asked Christina to ask her, and after a little bit of hesitation, she did. Christina came back to me and said she said no because the synth was maybe, but not certainly on it's last legs and it may break at any moment..we all probably said "oh shit!" in unison before deciding that she could play percussion instruments with Shaney B. We all knew that the lack of keyboard was going to make a big difference but I didn't hold it against Christina for bringing the wrong thing, and I didn't hold it too much against Carling Vail as well, she doesn't really know any of us! For this performance we were, because of the lack of band members, going to do something a little bit different. We were going to play the 26 minute piece that I had recorded on my own a few months earlier. I was a little drunk and stoned of fake shroom and Shaney B was probably stoned on weed or hash, Christina was tipsy and high on life, Tom..well I can't remember what Tom was doing, most likely drinking to good nectar and feeling fine. Tanika, my gf at the time can be heard shouting yea! during the first half, but as soon as she realised that the piece was probably going on for another 15 minutes, she went silent. This track was never really her thing bless her. Despite all odds, we all believe and felt in our guts that the show went well (maybe apart from Christina, whom was seated and stuck shaking a shaker like it was prison bars, but she enjoyed it over all). I'm not quite sure whom it is at the end of the performance but someone says "wow" (might be Ben Jim or another teardrop?) but I think they liked what we did there.

So here it is, the only live version of this piece and the only time it's been performed since the original recording...

Enjoy & remember folks
no rock & roll

J


*EDIT I MAY KEEP ADDING TO AS MY MEMORY COMES BACK SLOWLY* I actually lost my guitar pick and after a while of searching through my guitar case and rucksack, luckily I found one on the floor or seat or table, but it was THICC, it was most likely the bass player's from FTD (Luigi!) and if it was...sorry Luigi, I think I still may have it somewhere..under a drawer or chair/sofa where picks tend to run away to, *sigh* but that serves as explanation as to why it sounds like I'm dragging a wooden 2x4 plank across the sea of strings that is a 12 string. Also the amp I used (I think it was a solid state marshall combo of some sort) didn't have reverb! WHAT THE FUCK MAN! well it used to but somebody destroyed it, so instead of getting nice hall like reverberation, you got snap, crackle & pop but no taste. To counter no-verb-mode I whacked on my old trusty ehx memory man with hazarai (digital modulation delay with the works) and settled on a substitute effect, decided it was pretty trippy dude and the rest is patchy history.